Thursday, December 20, 2007

It’s Business Time: Poinsettia Bowl Pre-Game Live Blog

Welcome aboard (DING!)* and thanks for showing up! I'm counting you down to the 9 PM EST start of the 2007 Poinsettia Bowl between Navy and Utah, complete will random thoughts, insignificant anecdotes, and lots of criticism directed at things completely beyond my control. Oh yea, and did I mention I'll be live-blogging the football game as well? Sweet deal if you ask me.

First order of business. College Football Live did a fairly good job today in lead-up to the game, complete with a cut-in to Rece Davis on the USS Midway in San Diego. Rece will be calling the action tonight on ESPN. It's a good thing too, as Rece is one of the most knowledgeable and insightful on-air personalities the world wide leader has on its payroll. Unfortunately he will be paired with two of the least knowledgeable and insightful personalities of ESPN college football in Lou Holtz and Mark May. Alright, so maybe Mark May is a bit insightful, and Coach Holtz must have some knowledge from all those years of coaching, but let's be honest; listening to these two discuss Navy football is like listening to the eight year olds down the street talking about which kids' brother can beat up the others'. After all, can we possible forget Lou Holtz's discussion of, uh, your not going actually make me explain this to you, are you?

Needless to say, the last time these two teamed up to call a Navy game things got a bit off topic. From Mark May;s strangely homosexual fascination with Eric Kettani's dressing habits to Lou Holtz's attempt to explain the "wishbone" with a sandwhich in his mouth, the Navy-Pittsburgh broadcast of October can be summed up in three concise words. What. The. Hell. Dude...

Ok, so that's four, but you get my drift. Well, I'm off to go eat something which will potentially shorten my life by a matter of weeks, but after the break I'll get you caught up on how the pundits are seeing this one play out.

5:55- Just got off the phone with my buddy, and he's informed me of several relevant Vegas odds going into the game.

2:1 Reggie Campbell Scores a Touchdown
4:1 Mark May makes a reference to Eric Kettani's tailor
20:1 Rece Davis slips up on the pronunciation of Coach Niumatalolo's name
50:1 PhatPhelix is sighted on national television wearing a rather large sombrero
8672:1 O.J. Washington lines up wide in a go-cart, later explaining that it was his objective to just "take everyone out."

6:05- I’m watching ESPN in anticipation for this P-Bowl preview I keep hearing about, but all I’m seeing is the Tuna’s manboobs.
6:25- It seems like everyone and their mother is going with Utah to win this game, including our friend Brian at, who picked Utah to win 48-31. At least he may be in the right scoring range, as a number of previews I've seen have this game in the high twenties and low thirties. I'm going with the Mids in this one, in a game which will see both teams break the 30 points mark and the winner approaching 50 or more.
7:15- So I'm watching Sportscenter just to see what I can see and BAM, they come out with this Jason Grimsley unsealed statement story like it's a matter or life and death. Turns out Pete Incaviglia took amphetamines in the 90s. While this may seem like an insignificant nothingness on your sports radar, it basically shatters my childhood perception of the Orioles teams of the 1990s. You see as a kid growing up in the 90s in Maryland I loved the Orioles, and even remember a time when they didn't flat out suck. For some reason, I always remember my father saying stuff about Pete "stinky inky" Incaviglia. Turns out stinky inky was a cheater. You gotta wonder how bad this guy woulda been had he not used the 'amps. Why am I telling you this? Because I'm bored and we all need to kill time.
7:19- DING! Check out this preview for another Navy pun. Did that guy just call him Coach Tim Niumatalolo?

(H/T: MWC Podcast and Blog)

7:35- I'm digging up random previews for your enjoyment, so stay with me. Eric from SOS previews the game and (shocker) likes Utah. What's unique about his preview is the lovely history lesson he includes to begin:

Of course, you're probably aware that a Poinsettia is a Christmas "flower". But how did it get its name? It is named after the first ambassador to Mexico, Joel Roberts Poinsett. The poinsettia is native to the west coast, hence the bowl game being named after a Pacific flower. It also could go by other names such as Mexican flame leaf, Christmas star, or Winter rose.

Which brings up the question on everyone's mind. Is it PoinsettA or PoinsettIA?

*For every hastily made and poorly constructed Naval pun I or the ESPN team of commentators make tonight, $1 will be donated to the "Buy Chris Spielman an actual pair of dress pants and shoes" fund.

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